articulation of soul

well - in my life, i suppose things are looking up - I'm often bombarded with things that don't fit together - but lately - they're fitting better but still not perfect - in fact, i believe i have been the one to adapt and change to my stimuli. I've become more tollerant of variety in others, and less judgemental - alltho i can still pounce at opportune times. I can still defend myself, tho lately, I try not to be intimidated by accusations.

I do find still, that others create their own rules about their life, according to what things they find comfortable. It seems apparent to me that others will often develop their young life according to their peers and their social environment, giving in to the stimuli around them, only to become something they didn't plan on becoming, and then, faced with a crossroads to change or stay what they have been made into, they often choose to stay the same but change the rules they hang onto in order to justify and define their comfort zone.

I have a problem with these types that I find myself being so different from, in that they dont live up to my standards, and that causes conflict, both within myself in regards to my thoughts about them in my plans as well as without myself, in regards to how they actually respond to me and accuse me.

So, i have had a tendancy to group people into two groups - like me and unlike me. So thats been my way for so long. Now what? I'm trying to get along with more people but not trying to be like them. Why? I dont really know. Maybe because in life, we cant ALWAYS choose who we're around. In life, we might find ourself in prison of sorts, not able to escape the presence of unlike minds. But how do we persist in peace with these minds without becoming corrupted, changed, put at odds with them? Well, I remember that iron sharpens iron. Two strong minds will sharpen one another while at odds. It may not be fun and it may lead to a small war. There's nothing great about that - it's subjective. But, a great person, in my opinion, loves progress in regard to greater knowledge and peace. I belive a lot of strife comes from frustration, and a lack of understanding within ones own ideas and processes as well as equally within the area of communication with others. If one is not at peace and facil with one's self, then it manifests itself in ones daily walk. However, this is greatly multiplied outside of that person, in the space between that self and others when in confrontation, because of the lack of facility to explain, rebut, refute, use tact, refrain, restrain, and basically control one's self. We're all in need of self control and self knowledge. We sometimes think we know ourselves when we come to find out that we only really know what we've primarily been taught to know about ourselves. But articulation of the self takes a lot of strength and the self soon grows tired if not in practice.

It takes exersize, and moments of oasis. It takes drive and hope, and people who believe in you.

I believe in the truth. Truth is a word that may or may not have meaning. Everyone potentially has a differnt definition of truth. So be it. I can't change others thoughts unless i plea my own with respect for myself and others. But as i said, i have lately chosen to change myself a little rather than try to ridicule others to bend to what i believe they should do by my standards.

I still have the problem of judging others. How can i go on without judging my world? I feel it's a part of learning... i look at something and ask, "what does that mean?" and then i come up with a guess. That's the truth - is that much of what we believe is actually a guess. But we as humans, from our very nature, must believe something. I believe this is our imagination. Whatever we imagine, we may potentially belive. While some instances may be more obvious that others, we are still individually free and able to belive as we wish... right down to the smallest grain of articulation to the biggest ray of sunshine. We have to choose what we believe to be real, to be true, to be accepted or challenged within ourselves.

The soul who lives according to what he/she truly believes becomes strong and protected against attacks. The soul who achieves faith in what he or she onced questioned, and finds something he or she can hold onto and stand on firmly, will be a strong and solid rock his/herself, able to hold others at bay and have influence on his/her peers.