Saturday, August 21, 2004

slightly burnt, with news

We played tonight with the country band - I played fiddle and everything was nice. Soon the snowbirds will come back. I have been struggling with myself there. But I am finding that its where I belong and can be happy there playing, being useful and all. I just dont want to advocate any message but my own. Thats what makes me difficult. In other words, I want my own freedom to be myself and for my voice to be my own... in how I dress, what I say and what I play. So far, I'm free to play my solos how I want and that is great. I got this sewin machine - it looks about 50 years old. I have to learn how to work it. I have no idea how to use a sewing machine hands on. I can't wait to make my shirts look tailored and to fit me really prefect so i dont have to worry about it.

This radio I bought at the thrift store sounds so smooth. Its about 50 years old its own self. It's an old panasonic and sounds so smooth and mellow. I'm listenin to "jazz till dawn" and I love it. I mean - I dont just love it, it becomes me. It's like buttered toast, slightly burn, with news.

Tomorrow morning I'm leaving for Alaska. My dad plays with me and we are also bringin Mom. We'll be there a week. We're flyin.

I'd like to make some really heavy serious recordings with a stereo mic or just some great mics, and only use old or acoustic stuff, really artsy, heart related, soul, find a natural occurance of organic music spontaneous perhaps, moving - rooms, halls, stairwells, experimental atmospheres, real and fantastic.

Monday, August 02, 2004


the best juices are the natural ones - the ones that arent artificial - the ones that grow where they're meant to grow. I have juices of my own. Sometimes, I have to squeeze out artificially inspired juices and those are not really any good. In fact, they give juices a bad name.

Lately I'm trying more and more and getting closer to being natural and productive like a good fruit. I dont feel the preasures of production - to produce a quantity and type of juice they want. I sell juice, and i am somewhat of a merchant of juice but I'm not selling something i dont know anything about. I'm selling you me. I'm selling you the true real me. That's taken some time to discover and develope - as there have been so many with a hand in who I was - and who i was chosen to become. But gradually i shook off what was bothering me and took my own wheel in my hands. Its an everyday adventure.

I'm gonna play some music now here at this venue. All organic natural juices are scheduled for delivery.